Introduction

So if you happened upon this blog, you're probably thinking it's some sort of porn site with pictures of what they'll promise you are "hot MILFs" when really all you're getting is the washed up waitress of some seedy hole-in-the-wall with over-bleached anuses.

I can at least promise you there will be none of THAT.

No, what is meant by "Fornication and the Suburbs" is that it's basically the same skankiness of another certain "relationship" column, but less agreeable because it isn't done in a pair of $500 heels.

The true inspiration for this project comes from a friend of your humble narrator and condom connoisseur, another writer whom I respect deeply (and not just because he makes me feel like less of an alcoholic).

What my intent in writing this is to chronicle the relationships with others (and I say others as opposed to men because I'll screw anything with good looks, good charms or good booze) beginning from the point I lose my "actual" virginity.